Monday, September 26, 2011

Jesus loves me, this I know

“Every step we are breathing in Your grace, Evermore we’ll be breathing out Your praise. You are faithful, God” – Never Once by Matt Redman
It’s 5 am in Irvine, CA.  My body clock is still on east coast time and since I will be heading back east in a few days, I am embracing the beauty and stillness of the early morning.  I laid in bed, thinking over the post I wrote yesterday, believing God to do miracles in our own lives.  In the background of my thoughts, Matt Redman’s song ‘Never Once’ was playing.  The lyric written above was stuck in my head and my heart started to overflow with the love and faithfulness of God.  I began replaying my life over in my mind.  Looking back, I can see God’s hand and workmanship over every detail. 
Circumstances may not be ideal at the moment; I am still praying and believing for miracles in my life, but I realized My Shepherd has lead me to the place of complete and utter dependence, contentment, and trust in Him.  Of course there are moments I waver, I am not perfect, but the state of my heart rests fully on the fact that He IS love.  There was a time when I wasn’t convinced; I struggled to believe that He truly was good, that He loved me unconditionally.  I thought over the past few years and how God has gotten me to this place.  It required work on my part and it required me to let go and let God be God.
Months ago I began to say, sometimes out loud and countless times a day, “I trust You, You are good, and You are love.”  It wouldn’t matter what was happening around me.  I would repeat this over and over, trusting God to be faithful to move this from head knowledge to my heart’s truth.  Now I sit in the middle of His love, embracing it and believing it.  I never doubt His love and goodness.  Even when I am tempted to turn my gaze from above to around, I repeat those words, “I trust You, You are good, and You are love.” 
If we are to believe God for the impossible in our own lives, than we must believe Him to be good in the middle of any circumstance.  If we don’t believe Him to be good than we will eventually be disappointed.  We would be putting our faith in our ability to manipulate God to do what we want Him to do, instead of putting our faith in the goodness and love of our Heavenly Father.  No, not every situation is good, but He is good in every situation.  We aren’t God and never will be; rest with Him in that.
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”  Hebrews 11:6

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